In the 80 years of the last century, after the
release of the film Rolan Bykov, "Scarecrow" from us, perhaps for the
first time openly talking about the phenomenon of child cruelty
And adults with horror realized that their
children have more serious problems than the two in a diary.
Many blame the rise of anger and aggression in
modern children surrounding reality: the instability and injustice in society,
TV shows, in which the flow of blood is shed, the dominance of computer games
and movies, where the heroes solve all the problems solely in terms of
strength. But the
problem does not end there. After all, a
child brings not only society, but also a family.
The costs of education
Actually cruelty - it's not something unnatural,
contrary to human nature. And just the
opposite. Only
the power and aggressiveness could help defeat the caveman in natural
selection. And
children are closest to nature, so something, for example, the father of
psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud believed that they like no other characteristic
inherent cruelty, which can only hold back education. And you should start literally
from the cradle.
Unfortunately, parents often only nurture
offspring of evil inclinations, and from infancy. Of course, all this
is done in good faith.
"Do not let yourself offense, give this boy
to date" - we teach children, not realizing that the child learns from
these words is that those who might are right. But
you can not back down in front of the offender, and to try to explain to him
that he behaves badly. And
the parent must prove to the child that it is not sneaky and decent thing to
do. Another
common "education" - the so-called policy of non-interference. Like,
a child - a free person and is free to do whatever it sees fit. Of course, the need to
respect the identity of the child. But,
unfortunately, with no barriers and moral guidance, children tend to grow
uncontrollably aggressive and inhuman.
For a child to realize that hurt others - it's
bad, it's important to teach him compassion. Toddler crushed
beetle or butterfly wings torn off? Just scold the child, will
not achieve anything. It
is necessary that my child has realized the harm caused and sincerely regretted
his actions. For
example, you can tell your child how to be a bug is now crying babies, because
they were left without a dad. With
older children, you can find other words that they learn to put yourself in the
victim's fault of their own rights.
If adults immediately and adequately respond to
the aggressive behavior of their child, but on the contrary, directly or
indirectly, approve it, the cruelty of a child can gain a foothold and later
become a familiar way of self-expression.
Do as I do
But, unfortunately, the only one talking in the
child does not bring up good. After all, taught not words, but deeds.
Children
are very sensitive feel any double standards and hypocrisy. And
if the parents talk about kindness and mercy, and humiliate themselves to each
other or even fight, the child will repeat this behavior. And
if the Pope insists on the need to show respect to others, and himself, for
example, driving, swears and cuts the other drivers, it will be worthless to
such education.
After all, children learn exactly those behaviors
that are seen more often.
Therefore, parents need to start with yourself. Try
a more respectful, tolerant of each other and for others, or for their
children. Violence
against children is unacceptable. If
adults are punished severely abused child, or if exposed to other members of
the family, the very small man, however much suffered from this, over time,
learn to vent their aggression on other people.
Often the roots of teenage violence are rooted in
indifference and inattention of parents to their children. Not
for nothing did they say: "In order to make children good, it is necessary
to make them happy." After
all, part of the child to show anger - this is the easiest way to reach out to
moms and dads.
Or just take revenge on them for lack of love. The
child may become aggressive and after her parents' divorce, to protest against
a painful situation. Therefore,
sincere love and attention adults - the best vaccination against child cruelty.
A
particular recipe is very simple and not new: the children have grown worthy
people, "they spend half the money and twice the time."
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